As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might. -- Marian Anderson

This came to me today through the Human Rights Campaign: "She was a model student and a star athlete – an honest young woman in her final year at a private Christian high school, The Master's School, in Connecticut. But when school administrators asked her about her sexual orientation, she answered courageously and honestly that she is a lesbian. And then those same administrators told her to withdraw or she would be kicked out. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) students across the country are back in school, many facing bullying from peers. The last thing these students need is a school administration that refuses to protect them from unfair treatment." When I was in high school, I had a counselor tell me that she didn't think I should apply to college because I wasn't smart enough to get in anywhere. I made her send in the applications anyway. When I was in the 8th grade I had a teacher announce to the class that I was "a stupid little cheerleader who can't pass math and has to get a tutor." This was in response to him being told by my mother that I was seeing a tutor to help with my math grades! In both of these experiences, I could have lost myself forever and believed them. But I am different. I use those people to motivate me. As a college graduate, I wish I could remember the name of that counselor (the math teacher I will always remember his name) and let her know that she was wrong about me. As it turns out, I am actually really freaking smart...about the things I want to know about. I never would have found that out if I listened to them. Children, young adults and adults alike around the world are all just trying to do the best they can with what they have. If they are gay...what's it to you? Who does anyone think they are to tell anyone that they are wrong, or dumb, or hell bound? This world as a whole is in trouble enough as it is without us treating our fellow brothers and sisters as if they are less than anyone else. And to all the children and people who are being told they have to leave school, leave anyplace for your sexual orientation or for absolutely any other reason remember this: It is up to you to rise up against those people. It is up to me to go to college and graduate after people told me I couldn't. It was me who wrote a book and self published it when people didn't believe I could or would do it. It was me who got it picked up by a publishing house and it is me who celebrates that book going on book shelves world wide this upcoming year! It was my work that brought me success. No one else can build you up without you being part of the build. No one can tear you down without you being a part of the foundation failures. It is up to us to live out our best lives. People will come and go who make us hurt. People are sure to come around to tell you that you are wrong, or less. But...SCREW THOSE PEOPLE! Don't let those people take you down to their level. You deserve what you put into yourself. The good the bad and the ugly. And as for your sexual orientation? That makes you YOU. You are special and sacred and no one has any right to tell you different. You also don't have any right to feel different just because of what someone says about you, either. That part is up to you. Rome wasn't built in a day...you are not expected to be made of steel and rise above it all so quickly either. But, you have to do the work. We all have to do the work. It doesn't matter to what the subject itself even is-that truth remains the same-you have to do the work. That little girl who got kicked out of the school? It's great for us to all ban together to get her back in...but does she really want to be 'back in?' What she needs is to gather herself and the grief that she has with feeling shamed for being herself and move on into another school where she can graduate-get through...move on to something much bigger-a greater education and go make a difference for herself. Those bitchy, judgy people are going to still be there. They may always still be there. But you won't. You are moving forward and upward. You won't see those people that are still in that office, because you will have moved so much further past those jokers. I can't remember that counselors name because who care's who she was? Now she is simply part of the story I tell of what traps were put out in front of me for me to move past. We all have the power to make a difference. We can all be a poor impact, or a great impact. That is our decision individually. Now, embrace the fact that you are not powerless and go do something real about it. You deserve to be happy and free from judgment. So do we all!

Thinking at church...

I went to church this morning and something came to me...It was in the Lords Prayer..."Thy kingdom come, thy will be done ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN." I realized today, that I sure as hell hope that is not true! I hope in Heaven we are not judging everyone in sight and across the world. I hope we are not fighting stupid, ridiculous wars up in heaven. I'm hoping that in heaven it is peaceful, loving, kind, and yet still interesting and fun! I don't want to go to heaven if it's just like this! I would like to think it's WAY better there! And, don't get me wrong because I love it here! I love my life, and all the people in it. Even the ones who have come and gone for various reasons, I love them all. I want to be here as long as I possibly can. I'm in no rush to get over there to Heaven...BUT, I would love to think that Heaven is something so far and above our world here. That's what it's supposed to be after all, right? Pearly gates, great feasts...being able to talk to God directly! Getting to understand the infinite wisdom of why we are here and what this whole big thing is all about! Here, we get caught up in all sorts of caddy crap with other women, look at the divorce rate, the infidelity rate is staggering and climbing. We treat people poorly. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. There is enough to go 'round, but it's not shared that way so people suffer and die in ways that are easily prevented. Animals are treated cruelly here. I'd like to think that once they cross that rainbow bridge, no animal is slaughtered, or kicked or hit. On Earth As It Is In Heaven...that sentence has gotten lost to us. People cheat on their spouses and keep it secret like nothing has happened and quickly point fingers at others for doing the same. It is a growing problem that we do not take responsibility for our actions. We somehow rationalize why it's ok for US to do certain things, but not ok for anyone else. We treat people poorly if we don't have to face up to it. Just sit in rush hour traffic in any city and watch how that works! People yell and scream and flick people off, but if you met them right after that somewhere else, you'd see a lovely person! Get real with ourselves, people! As a whole we don't own up to our shortcomings and we don't admit defeat during our mistakes. Humility is a hard virtue to come by. Just watch the news, or TMZ one time and you will see all of which I speak. Unthinkable acts. Maybe it's time we either put that statement away, or start behaving better. Either way...it's time for a change, don't you agree?

The book What If intrigued me...especially since I use those words as things to stay away from as a general rule (for those of us who deal with anxiety). I thought the book had some really interesting information, and made some great points. But, it was just a series of teasers. Nothing went to deep or too far. Moving onto the next What If subject. It is a book that does make you think, and I can certainly appreciate that. I would have liked to have seen a little deeper into each thought before it moved on, however. Overall, it's a nice book, but nothing earth shattering. I review books for Hay House. They do not pay me to review the books. They send me the book for free and I read it and review it. I am not an employee of Hay House Publishing.

Which do you feed?

An old Cherokee told his grandson, "My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, & ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, & truth." The boy thought about it, and asked, "Grandfather, which wolf wins?" The old man quietly replied, "The one you feed".

Everybody needs to feel the positive energy

Do you remember the poem Solitude? "Laugh and the world laughs with you...weep and you weep alone..." That's how it begins. It's a great poem. I've loved it for years and understood early just what that meant. I do not practice the art of "fake it til you make it" like many others do. Instead I practice the art of, Own it, Be in it, and then try to turn it around and keep the hard stuff limited to yourself and your closest friends and then take the lessons and the positive parts and let it be the front runner.

People need to know that they are not alone in this world. Life can get lonely sometimes! We all get lonely, and when we aren't lonely, sometimes we forget to hang on tight and truly enjoy every bit of that time. When things are all going well, we get bored. When things get rough, we lose our grip on what else we have that is spectacular in our life. We need to get a "GRATITUDE ADJUSTMENT!" I coined this phrase, if someone else made it up too...well then Great Spirit is trying very hard to share it among the lot of us that this is what we are in great need of.

Get grateful! Focus on the things that we have that are great in our lives. Work hard to come through the parts that are painful. At the end of the day, it's up to each and every one of us to decide just how we are going to feel. Just having this day is another chance to make it right. Being alive, being on this Earth...that is a blessing in and of itself. Do you realize how lucky we are to be alive in this time of the world? How absolutely amazing it all is...and time is speeding up! You gotta go get in it, get into your life!

Seeing the good in things and being grateful is a CHOICE. Seeing the bad as the main stay in our lives, well that's your choice too...but I will tell you this...you will be weeping alone.

Going with the flow of change

Even if you live the most mundane existence, life changes up fairly quickly. You can choose to go with that flow, and see where it leads...or you can fight it and still end up there anyway. Be open to the possibilities and see where life takes you. When you find yourself in spaces you never thought you'd be...take it all in. Some of those spaces can be your wildest dreams coming true-and I say, breathe it in and accept that your hard work paid off! Some can be in deep dark places that you never saw yourself in, breathe it in anyway because there is a purpose for it. And sometimes that purpose is simply to get you past that deep dark space and into the highest place possible for you. If you are meant to do something great, you will do it. And we are all meant to do something great with our lives, or we would not be here. Now figure out what that great thing is for you, ride the waves to get you there, do your part and enjoy every  breath of the salty fresh air along the way!

Fighting in your relationship, or fighting for your relationship?

I had a friend that for a long time, I thought had a lot of the answers on relationships. They always said that in order to have a successful relationship, one thing at the top of the list is to learn to fight well.
Now that I am in a loving marriage, I have found that my friend had it only partly correct on the fighting thing. What I've come to realize is that you do have to learn how to fight well...but the meaning behind that statement is completely different than when it was presented to me. We must learn to fight in a new way when it comes to our life partners. We must learn not to fight to be heard, or to win our point...NO...NOT AT ALL...we must change how we fight to make it for and about the relationship. Now, when we are trying to get something across to the other, we do so in a way that benefits our union, not ourselves. We are not trying to win anything-that I promise will only result in losing your relationship. When you argue, think about it in terms of the union, and not yourself. Watch what happens then. This brings on less fighting all together, because no one is trying to win anything! That stubborn crap, it doesn't have good results!
Be willing to hear the other person, be willing to say I'm sorry, admit you were wrong. Do so in the name of "US" and not ME. On the flip side, when your partner gives you the credit, don't gloat. It doesn't help your cause.
So, yes, learn to fight well..but change the dynamic.
Fight for your union and get out of your stubborn bubble. And please for Heavens sake...stop being passive aggressive! WOW! So many of us do this-more so than I ever truly realized! When you are upset, say it-but say it kindly. Don't act one way but mean another. Don't expect anyone to pick up on your hints. Just be honest, be kind and own it. If you are being passive aggressive, you are not right-you are being a jerk.
Learn to communicate with honesty and integrity. Passive-aggressive does not live in that neighborhood.