It's not the big resolutions that we really follow. Those get lost in the shuffle. It's the goals that we set for ourselves that are attainable and truly in line with the direction we are already heading in that get accomplished. This is not to say we can't change the path and head into a new found opening in the road, because we can. We just seldom do.
My suggestion is, start slow and be decisive about what you want, what you want to change, and where you are heading. The other half of this is to be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to stray a little bit from that goal, and then get back on track when you can. Guilt never breeds temperance. Guilt perpetuates more guilt. Support, and understanding help lead the way.
Enjoy this new year-as it is meant to be enjoyed! It is a new year, and you are a part of making it happen! Each day is a new chance-and it is up to us to give ourselves that opportunity to truly live it. No one can do it for you, and no one should.
So, whatever it is you want to see come to light in this new year...go make it happen. But remember, nothing worth keeping happens without the effort and the intention. So get clear, be still with it and then when you are ready-go get it.
Blessings and hopes for an amazing, healthy, vibrant new year to you-
Emily
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
2010 comes to an end.
So here it is...the last day of 2010.
This year has been for me a year of incredible gains, and some really tough losses. More intense of a year for me than any other year I can remember. In this year the losses are:
My dog-and the love of my life (and for me was my baby) for many, many years passed away.
My grandmother-who lived an amazing 95 years-and I who I loved dearly also passed away not long after my punkin did.
A very close family member dealt with cancer this year-and I was in that chemo suite right along side every single week.
I have lost people along the way this year. Friends. When big changes come around, its effects are more than the stone rippling out into the pond.
The gains however are huge for me:
That family member who went through chemo is cancer free.
I met the love of my life, moved into a house together, got engaged and are soon to be married.
I got a publishing house to pick up two of my books and we start over combining them and use this year to get ready to launch it out into the book store world.
I will be getting two beautiful little step children in this new marriage.
I have found things within myself that I thought were never there, or would never come back.
The love that I have been blessed with has felt like the lotus flower has bloomed within me. And truly, it has been amazing.
The lessons I've learned this year carry me well into the next many. Friendships have changed dramatically since I found a man that fulfills so many aspects. Friends I thought I wouldn't ever lose have gone away, dynamics have changed, new people have entered-and some I would not choose ever to enter my life, have no choice but to stay.
Accepting that there are many things out of my control has been difficult-as it always is.
Focusing on what I can is always tough. Resistance always seems to attach itself to acceptance at a costly price.
This year seems to be many prayers of thanks, and many prayers of please help me get through this. But the common factor for me? Prayer. Whatever comes of this new year, God/Great Spirit is still and always will be my driver. I am never alone. I never was.
We have the choices once the situation has been presented. We cannot chose the situations, but we can choose our path around and through it. Taking the path of least resistance is not always the way. But it does help to navigate it out that way. I can feel the energy swirling around me- a bit chaotic right now-in its attempts to line me up for something wonderful coming soon into my life. I can feel it. This is going to be a big year. It's going to be amazing and I will be an active participant in seeing it out that way.
2011..I am in deed ready for you.
This year has been for me a year of incredible gains, and some really tough losses. More intense of a year for me than any other year I can remember. In this year the losses are:
My dog-and the love of my life (and for me was my baby) for many, many years passed away.
My grandmother-who lived an amazing 95 years-and I who I loved dearly also passed away not long after my punkin did.
A very close family member dealt with cancer this year-and I was in that chemo suite right along side every single week.
I have lost people along the way this year. Friends. When big changes come around, its effects are more than the stone rippling out into the pond.
The gains however are huge for me:
That family member who went through chemo is cancer free.
I met the love of my life, moved into a house together, got engaged and are soon to be married.
I got a publishing house to pick up two of my books and we start over combining them and use this year to get ready to launch it out into the book store world.
I will be getting two beautiful little step children in this new marriage.
I have found things within myself that I thought were never there, or would never come back.
The love that I have been blessed with has felt like the lotus flower has bloomed within me. And truly, it has been amazing.
The lessons I've learned this year carry me well into the next many. Friendships have changed dramatically since I found a man that fulfills so many aspects. Friends I thought I wouldn't ever lose have gone away, dynamics have changed, new people have entered-and some I would not choose ever to enter my life, have no choice but to stay.
Accepting that there are many things out of my control has been difficult-as it always is.
Focusing on what I can is always tough. Resistance always seems to attach itself to acceptance at a costly price.
This year seems to be many prayers of thanks, and many prayers of please help me get through this. But the common factor for me? Prayer. Whatever comes of this new year, God/Great Spirit is still and always will be my driver. I am never alone. I never was.
We have the choices once the situation has been presented. We cannot chose the situations, but we can choose our path around and through it. Taking the path of least resistance is not always the way. But it does help to navigate it out that way. I can feel the energy swirling around me- a bit chaotic right now-in its attempts to line me up for something wonderful coming soon into my life. I can feel it. This is going to be a big year. It's going to be amazing and I will be an active participant in seeing it out that way.
2011..I am in deed ready for you.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
All you need is love!
I love that song "All you need is love!" In lots of ways this is true. Love for self creates love for others. Love for God creates love for your fellow brothers and sisters of the world. We can be so selfish in our daily lives, thinking only of ourselves and our own family. Start seeing your family as the entire world. We are all children from the same light. Get out of your own small space in your mind and go big with your awareness.
See what happens then...
Love to all of you each day-
Blessings
Emily
See what happens then...
Love to all of you each day-
Blessings
Emily
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
There's no place I'd rather be
I was asked the question today: "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you go?" and amazingly for the first time probably ever in my life my answer is: exactly where I am!
There is no place in the world outside of the house I live in, with the man I live with that I would rather be. What an exciting thing to realize! The only thing that I would add in if I could is to bring my dog back down from Heaven and have him still here with me. That would make this house even more amazing than it already is. But since I can't do that, and I have to be grateful for the many wonderful years that I did get to have with my Punkin, I am left to focus on the now. And, thankfully my 'now' is a dream come true.
The life I am living right now, today, is the life that exceeds what I ever saw coming. For this, I am truly grateful. Maybe it was all the wrong turns that I had taken so many times before in my life that makes me appreciate where I've ended up. Those bumps and bruises (if that's what we want to call them...it was more like torture and horrible decisions) brought me exactly here. And, exactly here is very aware of just how lucky and blessed 'here' actually is.
So, if there is somewhere else that you wish you were...what's stopping you from going there? And it may not be a location...it may be a vocation. If you're doing something that doesn't bring you joy, are you doing anything to change that?
Just a thought...I hope it makes you realize that you have far more than you may be aware of.
Love and light,
Emily
There is no place in the world outside of the house I live in, with the man I live with that I would rather be. What an exciting thing to realize! The only thing that I would add in if I could is to bring my dog back down from Heaven and have him still here with me. That would make this house even more amazing than it already is. But since I can't do that, and I have to be grateful for the many wonderful years that I did get to have with my Punkin, I am left to focus on the now. And, thankfully my 'now' is a dream come true.
The life I am living right now, today, is the life that exceeds what I ever saw coming. For this, I am truly grateful. Maybe it was all the wrong turns that I had taken so many times before in my life that makes me appreciate where I've ended up. Those bumps and bruises (if that's what we want to call them...it was more like torture and horrible decisions) brought me exactly here. And, exactly here is very aware of just how lucky and blessed 'here' actually is.
So, if there is somewhere else that you wish you were...what's stopping you from going there? And it may not be a location...it may be a vocation. If you're doing something that doesn't bring you joy, are you doing anything to change that?
Just a thought...I hope it makes you realize that you have far more than you may be aware of.
Love and light,
Emily
Monday, October 4, 2010
When we are no longer on the same path as our friends
So much has changed over the course of a year for me. So many things that have come into my life that are massive blessings. So many things lost this year also. But, there is one thing that I have seen this year that has been difficult and that is the way that my relationships have changed. In my years of anxiety, and also on a dating sabaticle, I held on to my male friends for dear life. They came to view me as the "poor Emily, who needs me" girl, and I liked it that way.
When I fell in love with my now fiance, those people went away. Some before I was ready for them to, and some because I needed them to. I gave away too much power in my weaker days, and let a lot of people have a say so in my decision making skills. Once I got out of my anxiety nightmare, I began to really see things from a much cleaner perspective and stopped giving so much power away.
And then later falling deeply in love, it compounded it even more. Those friends of mine just didn't hold the space that they used to as the men in my life, and that has been difficult for both sides. *Note: this does not mean I turned my power over to the new man in my life, because I did not and don't need to. I grew into myself before he came along. Having this deep love with someone who I respect and admire does of course change things. It would have to. He does bring strength and faith to my life in ways that I didn't have in the capacity that I did before on my own. I am not discounting this. My decisions are made with him, as his are made with me. This is very different however then handing it over. It doesn't work that way anymore for me with anybody.
What I have found is that in my delights (getting a book picked up by a national publishing house, and getting engaged and moving into our new home) has left some people without even the ability to simply say "Congratulations!" I'm telling you jealousy is ugly on anybody...even in my cats. It's just ugly. It hurts my feelings to know that friends that have watched me for years work so hard, and never give up on my dreams now can't even just acknowledge that I have actually achieved something that they may or may not have ever seen as possible. It also makes me proud to know that I do not live to anybody's expectations but my own, and that I have actually hit goals (my books) that I had unwavering faith in.
My point to this personal story is this: sometimes it really is just time to let them go. It hurts when our relationships change, but they do always change because we always change. We are always growing, and evolving and sometimes it just makes us not mesh anymore with people that we used to mesh with ease before. It's not to be looked at as a terrible thing, just a truth. Sometimes our paths take off in separate directions. Sometimes one or both people may need that down time to tend to their own gardens. It may not be as personal as you'd like to think that it is. Either way, it's hard to watch friends come and go from our lives.
It is equally as difficult to conform to a certain way of being to keep them also. And this isn't just limited to my male friends. I've changed relationship patterns with a lot of people over the past few years because I truly stick up for myself and try to avoid the passive-aggressive games that we tend to play when we are in less than a good space. I hold people accountable for behaviors and words, myself included. I am not the push over girl that I used to be because of my fears of confrontation that so often accompanies anxiety. It is both liberating, and equally difficult to change those patterns within yourself. It can result in losing friendships. It cannot necessarily be helped.
So, as I grow and continue on my own path, and pursue my own dreams I welcome those that step in along the way, and miss those that no longer fit. But one thing is clear: I will honor myself, my partner, my dreams first. The rest will take care of itself. You, or I are not bad people for finally putting ourselves first and honoring who we are. Stick up for yourself, you earned it! If the others don't like it, bless them and be on your way. Keep growing, keep going on your own path. You'll line up again if you're meant to.
Not sure if this helps any of you, but I feel better :-) So, Thank You.
Emily
When I fell in love with my now fiance, those people went away. Some before I was ready for them to, and some because I needed them to. I gave away too much power in my weaker days, and let a lot of people have a say so in my decision making skills. Once I got out of my anxiety nightmare, I began to really see things from a much cleaner perspective and stopped giving so much power away.
And then later falling deeply in love, it compounded it even more. Those friends of mine just didn't hold the space that they used to as the men in my life, and that has been difficult for both sides. *Note: this does not mean I turned my power over to the new man in my life, because I did not and don't need to. I grew into myself before he came along. Having this deep love with someone who I respect and admire does of course change things. It would have to. He does bring strength and faith to my life in ways that I didn't have in the capacity that I did before on my own. I am not discounting this. My decisions are made with him, as his are made with me. This is very different however then handing it over. It doesn't work that way anymore for me with anybody.
What I have found is that in my delights (getting a book picked up by a national publishing house, and getting engaged and moving into our new home) has left some people without even the ability to simply say "Congratulations!" I'm telling you jealousy is ugly on anybody...even in my cats. It's just ugly. It hurts my feelings to know that friends that have watched me for years work so hard, and never give up on my dreams now can't even just acknowledge that I have actually achieved something that they may or may not have ever seen as possible. It also makes me proud to know that I do not live to anybody's expectations but my own, and that I have actually hit goals (my books) that I had unwavering faith in.
My point to this personal story is this: sometimes it really is just time to let them go. It hurts when our relationships change, but they do always change because we always change. We are always growing, and evolving and sometimes it just makes us not mesh anymore with people that we used to mesh with ease before. It's not to be looked at as a terrible thing, just a truth. Sometimes our paths take off in separate directions. Sometimes one or both people may need that down time to tend to their own gardens. It may not be as personal as you'd like to think that it is. Either way, it's hard to watch friends come and go from our lives.
It is equally as difficult to conform to a certain way of being to keep them also. And this isn't just limited to my male friends. I've changed relationship patterns with a lot of people over the past few years because I truly stick up for myself and try to avoid the passive-aggressive games that we tend to play when we are in less than a good space. I hold people accountable for behaviors and words, myself included. I am not the push over girl that I used to be because of my fears of confrontation that so often accompanies anxiety. It is both liberating, and equally difficult to change those patterns within yourself. It can result in losing friendships. It cannot necessarily be helped.
So, as I grow and continue on my own path, and pursue my own dreams I welcome those that step in along the way, and miss those that no longer fit. But one thing is clear: I will honor myself, my partner, my dreams first. The rest will take care of itself. You, or I are not bad people for finally putting ourselves first and honoring who we are. Stick up for yourself, you earned it! If the others don't like it, bless them and be on your way. Keep growing, keep going on your own path. You'll line up again if you're meant to.
Not sure if this helps any of you, but I feel better :-) So, Thank You.
Emily
Friday, October 1, 2010
Quote of the day: "Sometimes life is bigger than you!" -Michelle Brandenburg
Sometimes there are things that are just way too big for you to handle. So don't. Give them over to God and go from there. Sometimes we think that we are or know what's best for other people, and this also is not true. Know when you are not helping, know when you are not enough...and even more, know when things are too much. Then hand them over. It's important that we always know that we can't do and be everything. And that we don't have to be.
Recognize when the efforts you are putting in are not enough and change the pattern. It's not a bad thing to notice when it's over your head. It's arrogant to think it never is.
Recognize when the efforts you are putting in are not enough and change the pattern. It's not a bad thing to notice when it's over your head. It's arrogant to think it never is.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Love means always being able to say you're sorry. -ME
I've heard the old saying "love means never having to say you're sorry" and I strongly disagree. Love means being able to say you are sorry and allows you to own up to whatever behavior it was that warrants an apology. It's not easy to admit fault. It's never easy to admit your motives behind doing something that would be hurtful. However, that being said: when you do act out in a way that upon inspection was hurtful, or resentful or childish even and you realize it and take responsibility for it...well, that makes the other person truly know that you did see it, you are regretful of it and that hopefully you did learn something from it. It's never fun to eat crow...but with all the toxic things out in the world that we put in our mouths now days...a little crow every now and then might not be such a bad snack!
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