Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 comes to an end.

So here it is...the last day of 2010.

This year has been for me a year of incredible gains, and some really tough losses. More intense of a year for me than any other year I can remember. In this year the losses are:

My dog-and the love of my life (and for me was my baby) for many, many years passed away.
My grandmother-who lived an amazing 95 years-and I who I loved dearly also passed away not long after my punkin did.
A very close family member dealt with cancer this year-and I was in that chemo suite right along side every single week.
I have lost people along the way this year. Friends. When big changes come around, its effects are more than the stone rippling out into the pond.

The gains however are huge for me:

That family member who went through chemo is cancer free.
I met the love of my life, moved into a house together, got engaged and are soon to be married.
I got a publishing house to pick up two of my books and we start over combining them and use this year to get ready to launch it out into the book store world.
I will be getting two beautiful little step children in this new marriage.
I have found things within myself that I thought were never there, or would never come back.
The love that I have been blessed with has felt like the lotus flower has bloomed within me. And truly, it has been amazing.

The lessons I've learned this year carry me well into the next many. Friendships have changed dramatically since I found a man that fulfills so many aspects. Friends I thought I wouldn't ever lose have gone away, dynamics have changed, new people have entered-and some I would not choose ever to enter my life, have no choice but to stay.
Accepting that there are many things out of my control has been difficult-as it always is.
Focusing on what I can is always tough. Resistance always seems to attach itself to acceptance at a costly price.

This year seems to be many prayers of thanks, and many prayers of please help me get through this. But the common factor for me? Prayer. Whatever comes of this new year, God/Great Spirit is still and always will be my driver. I am never alone. I never was.
We have the choices once the situation has been presented. We cannot chose the situations, but we can choose our path around and through it. Taking the path of least resistance is not always the way. But it does help to navigate it out that way. I can feel the energy swirling around me- a bit chaotic right now-in its attempts to line me up for something wonderful coming soon into my life. I can feel it. This is going to be a big year. It's going to be amazing and I will be an active participant in seeing it out that way.
2011..I am in deed ready for you.