Monday, October 17, 2011

As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might. -- Marian Anderson

This came to me today through the Human Rights Campaign: "She was a model student and a star athlete – an honest young woman in her final year at a private Christian high school, The Master's School, in Connecticut. But when school administrators asked her about her sexual orientation, she answered courageously and honestly that she is a lesbian. And then those same administrators told her to withdraw or she would be kicked out. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) students across the country are back in school, many facing bullying from peers. The last thing these students need is a school administration that refuses to protect them from unfair treatment." When I was in high school, I had a counselor tell me that she didn't think I should apply to college because I wasn't smart enough to get in anywhere. I made her send in the applications anyway. When I was in the 8th grade I had a teacher announce to the class that I was "a stupid little cheerleader who can't pass math and has to get a tutor." This was in response to him being told by my mother that I was seeing a tutor to help with my math grades! In both of these experiences, I could have lost myself forever and believed them. But I am different. I use those people to motivate me. As a college graduate, I wish I could remember the name of that counselor (the math teacher I will always remember his name) and let her know that she was wrong about me. As it turns out, I am actually really freaking smart...about the things I want to know about. I never would have found that out if I listened to them. Children, young adults and adults alike around the world are all just trying to do the best they can with what they have. If they are gay...what's it to you? Who does anyone think they are to tell anyone that they are wrong, or dumb, or hell bound? This world as a whole is in trouble enough as it is without us treating our fellow brothers and sisters as if they are less than anyone else. And to all the children and people who are being told they have to leave school, leave anyplace for your sexual orientation or for absolutely any other reason remember this: It is up to you to rise up against those people. It is up to me to go to college and graduate after people told me I couldn't. It was me who wrote a book and self published it when people didn't believe I could or would do it. It was me who got it picked up by a publishing house and it is me who celebrates that book going on book shelves world wide this upcoming year! It was my work that brought me success. No one else can build you up without you being part of the build. No one can tear you down without you being a part of the foundation failures. It is up to us to live out our best lives. People will come and go who make us hurt. People are sure to come around to tell you that you are wrong, or less. But...SCREW THOSE PEOPLE! Don't let those people take you down to their level. You deserve what you put into yourself. The good the bad and the ugly. And as for your sexual orientation? That makes you YOU. You are special and sacred and no one has any right to tell you different. You also don't have any right to feel different just because of what someone says about you, either. That part is up to you. Rome wasn't built in a day...you are not expected to be made of steel and rise above it all so quickly either. But, you have to do the work. We all have to do the work. It doesn't matter to what the subject itself even is-that truth remains the same-you have to do the work. That little girl who got kicked out of the school? It's great for us to all ban together to get her back in...but does she really want to be 'back in?' What she needs is to gather herself and the grief that she has with feeling shamed for being herself and move on into another school where she can graduate-get through...move on to something much bigger-a greater education and go make a difference for herself. Those bitchy, judgy people are going to still be there. They may always still be there. But you won't. You are moving forward and upward. You won't see those people that are still in that office, because you will have moved so much further past those jokers. I can't remember that counselors name because who care's who she was? Now she is simply part of the story I tell of what traps were put out in front of me for me to move past. We all have the power to make a difference. We can all be a poor impact, or a great impact. That is our decision individually. Now, embrace the fact that you are not powerless and go do something real about it. You deserve to be happy and free from judgment. So do we all!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Thinking at church...

I went to church this morning and something came to me...It was in the Lords Prayer..."Thy kingdom come, thy will be done ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN." I realized today, that I sure as hell hope that is not true! I hope in Heaven we are not judging everyone in sight and across the world. I hope we are not fighting stupid, ridiculous wars up in heaven. I'm hoping that in heaven it is peaceful, loving, kind, and yet still interesting and fun! I don't want to go to heaven if it's just like this! I would like to think it's WAY better there! And, don't get me wrong because I love it here! I love my life, and all the people in it. Even the ones who have come and gone for various reasons, I love them all. I want to be here as long as I possibly can. I'm in no rush to get over there to Heaven...BUT, I would love to think that Heaven is something so far and above our world here. That's what it's supposed to be after all, right? Pearly gates, great feasts...being able to talk to God directly! Getting to understand the infinite wisdom of why we are here and what this whole big thing is all about! Here, we get caught up in all sorts of caddy crap with other women, look at the divorce rate, the infidelity rate is staggering and climbing. We treat people poorly. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. There is enough to go 'round, but it's not shared that way so people suffer and die in ways that are easily prevented. Animals are treated cruelly here. I'd like to think that once they cross that rainbow bridge, no animal is slaughtered, or kicked or hit. On Earth As It Is In Heaven...that sentence has gotten lost to us. People cheat on their spouses and keep it secret like nothing has happened and quickly point fingers at others for doing the same. It is a growing problem that we do not take responsibility for our actions. We somehow rationalize why it's ok for US to do certain things, but not ok for anyone else. We treat people poorly if we don't have to face up to it. Just sit in rush hour traffic in any city and watch how that works! People yell and scream and flick people off, but if you met them right after that somewhere else, you'd see a lovely person! Get real with ourselves, people! As a whole we don't own up to our shortcomings and we don't admit defeat during our mistakes. Humility is a hard virtue to come by. Just watch the news, or TMZ one time and you will see all of which I speak. Unthinkable acts. Maybe it's time we either put that statement away, or start behaving better. Either way...it's time for a change, don't you agree?
The book What If intrigued me...especially since I use those words as things to stay away from as a general rule (for those of us who deal with anxiety). I thought the book had some really interesting information, and made some great points. But, it was just a series of teasers. Nothing went to deep or too far. Moving onto the next What If subject. It is a book that does make you think, and I can certainly appreciate that. I would have liked to have seen a little deeper into each thought before it moved on, however. Overall, it's a nice book, but nothing earth shattering. I review books for Hay House. They do not pay me to review the books. They send me the book for free and I read it and review it. I am not an employee of Hay House Publishing.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Which do you feed?

An old Cherokee told his grandson, "My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, & ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, & truth." The boy thought about it, and asked, "Grandfather, which wolf wins?" The old man quietly replied, "The one you feed".

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Everybody needs to feel the positive energy

Do you remember the poem Solitude? "Laugh and the world laughs with you...weep and you weep alone..." That's how it begins. It's a great poem. I've loved it for years and understood early just what that meant. I do not practice the art of "fake it til you make it" like many others do. Instead I practice the art of, Own it, Be in it, and then try to turn it around and keep the hard stuff limited to yourself and your closest friends and then take the lessons and the positive parts and let it be the front runner.

People need to know that they are not alone in this world. Life can get lonely sometimes! We all get lonely, and when we aren't lonely, sometimes we forget to hang on tight and truly enjoy every bit of that time. When things are all going well, we get bored. When things get rough, we lose our grip on what else we have that is spectacular in our life. We need to get a "GRATITUDE ADJUSTMENT!" I coined this phrase, if someone else made it up too...well then Great Spirit is trying very hard to share it among the lot of us that this is what we are in great need of.

Get grateful! Focus on the things that we have that are great in our lives. Work hard to come through the parts that are painful. At the end of the day, it's up to each and every one of us to decide just how we are going to feel. Just having this day is another chance to make it right. Being alive, being on this Earth...that is a blessing in and of itself. Do you realize how lucky we are to be alive in this time of the world? How absolutely amazing it all is...and time is speeding up! You gotta go get in it, get into your life!

Seeing the good in things and being grateful is a CHOICE. Seeing the bad as the main stay in our lives, well that's your choice too...but I will tell you this...you will be weeping alone.


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Going with the flow of change

Even if you live the most mundane existence, life changes up fairly quickly. You can choose to go with that flow, and see where it leads...or you can fight it and still end up there anyway. Be open to the possibilities and see where life takes you. When you find yourself in spaces you never thought you'd be...take it all in. Some of those spaces can be your wildest dreams coming true-and I say, breathe it in and accept that your hard work paid off! Some can be in deep dark places that you never saw yourself in, breathe it in anyway because there is a purpose for it. And sometimes that purpose is simply to get you past that deep dark space and into the highest place possible for you. If you are meant to do something great, you will do it. And we are all meant to do something great with our lives, or we would not be here. Now figure out what that great thing is for you, ride the waves to get you there, do your part and enjoy every  breath of the salty fresh air along the way!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The OMG Chronicles

Peter Rodger, the author of the book and the movie "The Oh My God Chronicles" is absolutely BRILLIANT.
The idea behind this book was in the mass murder, suicides that have taken place not only in this country on 911 but all over the world in the name of God, and the fight against the Devil. So...what is GOD? There is no one defining answer, and that what he set out to prove. He traveled all over the world showing a much larger scale view of what God is to various people, and cultures throughout the world.
I believe personally that we are so limited in our views because our parents and our ministers said to be so. We have allowed fear and judgement to be our ruling factor in our own relationship with God. We grow up believe what we've been taught to believe, and not to judge others for it...but "they are still going to hell."
I think God is much less judgmental than we are, and yet, we still think we speak for him because the bible says so. But, notice there are many religious texts in the world, and for a reason. God is greater than your one text. Even the many different volumes of your one text.
Open up your mind, and if you can't travel the world, read his book to help you open up your mind.
I recommend this book to anybody who is challenging the confines of the religions and the church's and looking to know God for yourself. The GOD that lives globally, not in the bible belt of the world.

Note: I reviewed this book for Hay House. They gave me a copy of the book for free and I am not being paid to give a review.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Fighting in your relationship, or fighting for your relationship?

I had a friend that for a long time, I thought had a lot of the answers on relationships. They always said that in order to have a successful relationship, one thing at the top of the list is to learn to fight well.
Now that I am in a loving marriage, I have found that my friend had it only partly correct on the fighting thing. What I've come to realize is that you do have to learn how to fight well...but the meaning behind that statement is completely different than when it was presented to me. We must learn to fight in a new way when it comes to our life partners. We must learn not to fight to be heard, or to win our point...NO...NOT AT ALL...we must change how we fight to make it for and about the relationship. Now, when we are trying to get something across to the other, we do so in a way that benefits our union, not ourselves. We are not trying to win anything-that I promise will only result in losing your relationship. When you argue, think about it in terms of the union, and not yourself. Watch what happens then. This brings on less fighting all together, because no one is trying to win anything! That stubborn crap, it doesn't have good results!
Be willing to hear the other person, be willing to say I'm sorry, admit you were wrong. Do so in the name of "US" and not ME. On the flip side, when your partner gives you the credit, don't gloat. It doesn't help your cause.
So, yes, learn to fight well..but change the dynamic.
Fight for your union and get out of your stubborn bubble. And please for Heavens sake...stop being passive aggressive! WOW! So many of us do this-more so than I ever truly realized! When you are upset, say it-but say it kindly. Don't act one way but mean another. Don't expect anyone to pick up on your hints. Just be honest, be kind and own it. If you are being passive aggressive, you are not right-you are being a jerk.
Learn to communicate with honesty and integrity. Passive-aggressive does not live in that neighborhood.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Always wrestling with the same issues from the outside in

I had a talk the other day about my weight and my image. I've heard this talk so many times in my life. No matter what weight I'm at, there is always a good male friend of mine who let's me know it is just simply not enough. They mean well, and truly believe they are doing me a favor by saying so. It always makes me wonder though how I seem to have always attracted this to me when I could not imagine saying things like that to anyone else.
I heard recently from a very well meaning friend that maybe the work I'm doing won't really show up in full because I don't fit the image people are looking for unless I drop weight. I get what he's saying, and there is some serious truth to that. I have put on some very serious happy weight along with certain medications that I've been on that cause an increase in weight gain. Sometimes, that weight gain is worth it when the meds actually work. I'd take me happy with some extra baggage any day to me being miserable and scared but looking better.
Especially since, even when I was 'looking better' I still had those well meaning male friends telling me I'd be hot if I dropped 20. No matter what my weight has been in my life, someone is always there to make sure I know it is not enough.
It became my mission several years ago to fall in love with myself-for who I am. And, to turn around and share that same view with others. I'm not an obese person, mind you. I could certainly be smaller...but even when I do, I can promise those people will still always show up.
So I begin to think about what it is that I truly want: I want to feel good about myself. I want to exercise more, and eat better. I don't want to EVER measure value through numbers-size, or numbers. The other thing I don't want is those well meaning people to feel that it is ok to let me know that I don't look good to them. What matters is that I get into the space where I look good to me.
So, maybe I won't get very much further than I've already gotten with my books and my platform-but I do know that I didn't write all of those things from the depths of my being to have it all come down to what's on the outside.
I don't work that way. I hope you don't either.
My thought for the day: start looking from the heart. I know plenty of skinny, pretty people who are down right ugly when it gets past the skin.
To be a swan encompasses it all...but most of all from within.
Keep on pushing forward, and follow your dreams...and don't let ANYBODY tell you different.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Blessings are all around us...grab on and hold tight!

I think there are too many times where we get so caught up in the things that don't really matter that we miss the things that do. Blessings and miracles are all around us and we get too busy to even notice them! Wake up and smell the blessings!
If you are breathing, there is always time to make a change. So, what's stopping you?
God gave us Free Will...are you using yours? I had someone say to me the other day that it's the power of God that can make someone get sober. That is very true that God has that power, but not without your consent. You have to be in charge of your own destiny and your own healing. God cannot do it without you, and at some point, you really just have to own it and step into it.
It starts with one day at at time to create the life you love. So, start today on something small and attainable and go from there.
If you are always looking at what you don't have...believe me, there will be more where that came from. And conversely, if you are looking at what you do have...there will be more where that came from too.
...Now choose.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Spice up your sex life by getting in deeper with each other.

To make your sex life go from great to abundantly amazing, you have to go deeper. It goes from sex to love making. Not in the cheezy way that it might be like on tv...I don't use the term love making for anything other than what it is. It's not possible to do with everyone, but if you do have a sacred partner than this information is for you.

My husband and I like to incorporate energy work/prayer into our love making process. It allows us to come closer and go deeper within before we actually move into the physical side of things. It makes for the most intense orgasms either of us have ever seen. We now have the energetic, emotional and physical all playing together to make a most abundant sex life. Do we do this every time? Absolutely not! But when we do, it is certainly enhanced in a most profound way. Set the tone. We have a certain CD (Govinda, Erotic Rythems..best sexual CD EVER) and when it comes on, we know we are going to be taking our time. Mix up the location. It's not just about getting busy on the kitchen counter. Those "I have to have you now moments" don't happen that often on the fly. Set it up and mix it up. Last night we put a blanket out in our back yard and lit candles and made love under the stars. If I were the neighbors I would have most certainly been watching and talking to my partner about wanting some of what they got! Talk in a way that can get your partner aroused further. Figure out if they respond best to touch, to speech, to breath, to movement, to foreplay...whatever it is that makes them hit the highest point...save that for just before intercourse and go with it. Talk dirty, open up the lines of communication. Be honest and sincere. Don't do it just for the hot pleasure of it all. Be completely present to your surroundings and your partner. This isn't just to amp up your sex life, it is to make your sex life go deeper and further. Get into it. Let yourself go completely with your partner. You'll see the difference in your relationship for sure.

Get out of any habits you may have of doing it just for the sake of doing it. And God forbid, if you are someone who says things like "hurry up, and just do this" or any of that crap right from the onset...don't even bother. Make your partner feel special and loved or don't waste either of your time. It's talk like that will lead you straight back to the courtroom except this time to untie the knot. You gotta get with it people and start loving your partner! Mix it up, be present, be in it!

A healthy sex life is very telling of your partnership. Do you keep open communication? No way are you only available to that in the bed room. It's everywhere and the bedroom tells what's happening in the rest of the house. Keep it real and don't be shy. This is the way to perpetuate loving relationships and strong lovemaking. Go deep or go home!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Another Book Review

I just finished reading the book Ravenous: a fool lover's journey from obsession to freedom by Dayna Macy.
Now, I want to find her and ask to work with her. She is intense in all the right ways. She goes through a lot of detailed, horrid and vibrant experiences in her journey of food and balance. While reading the slaughter chapter, as she puts herself out into a slaughter house (a humane one, if there is such things) and describes it in such detail that I cried. It was a very hard chapter to get through, and I thought about skipping it, but through her way of writing, I just couldn't bring myself to turn away from it. Her writing style is bold, intense and gets you down deep.
I thought this book gave great detail of different foods and how they are prepared from start to finish. She achieves balance and reaffirms certain beliefs that I had developed for myself.
I do recommend this book to all of us who are seeking our own balance with food, and with life.

* Please note: Hay House gives me these books for free to review. It is not a paid position of Hay House

Since I'm on a roll here...

I thought I'd share this blog post that I did for my TVGuestpert site. We post hot topics daily, and since today's blog was on cheating and why do it, I thought I would put up one of my hot topic posts from a while back!

Attention Celebrity Cheaters...do what you want, sleep with who you want...just don't get married!


In the case of Tiger Woods, we don't care who you are messing around with...if you were single. The issue is: if you're going to need several women to service you, do it! Just don't get married! Charlie Sheen may have something right with his goddesses. He pays them, the expectations are set, he's not cheating on anyone, and I can guarantee you he's getting whatever kind of sexual favors he wants far more than he did from any of his wives! Do what you do, but keep it real. If you're a cheater, just don't marry anyone. Why bother anyway?
You can be famous and have children out of wedlock and no one bats an eye. So, if kids are what you want, but you are a cheater, just get one of this mistresses to have your baby instead and leave the marrying part out of your equation.
If you are a cheater: you are a cheater. If you know this about yourself, what is the purpose behind getting married to one person if you're not able to stay faithful to them? I've heard the statement made: "you're only as faithful as your options." That's not true. There are some people in the world, and I know the number is few, that have the chance many times a day that don't ever take it because they are good and faithful people. You either are a stand up, faithful person or you're not. Own it, and set your life accordingly.
If you put as much dedication into your life, relationship and marriage as you do into what you've done to make you famous, there would be no issue here! We know you have it in you to be dedicated to something...or you wouldn't be a famous athelete or celebrity in the first place. Want to be a role model? Be someone you can be proud of. Whatever way that means to you. And by the way...the whole running screaming sex addiction following your getting caught is over. Too many celebrities use this tactic: David Duchovny, Tiger Woods, Michael Douglas, Bill Clinton, Charlie Sheen, Amy Winehouse, Kayne West

Why do people cheat?

I'm not sure there is one clear cut answer to this question, because I truly think some people just have it in them, and others don't no matter what. But think about the repercussions of trusting in someone who runs around sticking their you-know-what's, in some strangers you-know-who's and then coming home to you and putting it in you! It is so nasty and yet, so many people do that!

I knew people who were married for years and one of the people got sick only to find out it was stage III syphilis from their lousy, cheating spouse. Or my friend worked as a hostess at a super swanky bar and found out that there was a couple having sex in the bathroom, and when the bartender knocked on the door to tell them they had to leave the man behind the door says: "can we walk out separate because my wife's out there?"

Hell, I had a boyfriend who decided to let me know we were done by placing photo's of him and his new woman on one of these social networking sites instead of having the balls and the human decency to give me the courtesy call to say "hey, I'm doing someone else now, thank you buh-bye."

Here are my questions and if you can answer them, then let me have it:

1) What gives someone the right to think that they can cheat?
2) Why do you bother getting married?
3) What is it that creates some people to always do the noble thing and keep your paws off until the relationship has ended (and both parties know it's ended) and other's can't wait that long?
4) You have to know you will get caught, right? So, why bother?
5) Why wouldn't you put in the effort it takes to score somewhere else with someone else into your relationship or marriage?
6) Why don't you leave before you go pokin around in someone else's punkin patch?
There are always cleaner ways to handle yourself and cheating is not one of them. So...what's the deal?

Someone please explain it to me because I seem to be missing something.


And now we take it to the other side:

1) Why would you take them back if you know they can't be trusted?
2) You know that if you do take them back, and they do it again, you are going to hate yourself for putting up with all that bullshit for nothing.
3) How do you deal with that aftermath?

And my final thoughts on cheating: Do whatever you want, do whoever you want...just don't bother getting into a committed relationship if you know you're not the monogamous kind! Own it, live it, and move on.

Oh and by the way...I am not writing this because of my own life...I am blessed with a truly faithful, wonderful man. I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea here :-) I love you, honey! I am thankful that you are the man that you are and not anything like Tiger Woods!

Thanks...
Emily
A faithful and highly opinionated woman

Monday, April 25, 2011

Simplify your life by adopting this word: NO

I was asked today what I tell people about how to simplify their life. I realized that the people that I usually have this conversation with are women who are fighting cancer-since they are my primary source right now for public speaking. What I tell them is the value of saying NO. Woman, wives, mothers, daughters all have a very difficult time saying no to people-therefore over extending themselves way too often and complicating what could have been a very simple, lovely day!
The power behind saying NO is so amazing. I teach it to people that over extend themselves. It is a straight cut way to simplify any situation.
Why do you think that babies hold on to that word so dearly? They learn it early and they use it properly! It doesn't mean you can't do extra things for people, but learning how to slow down and say no to too much brings a fabulous gift of health to your life. Healthy mind, healthy body. Don't over do.
On a daily basis, break down the 'to do list' to what is the most important things to get done and stick with those. You are not superwoman or superman and the key to this little statement is: you don't have to be!

The difference between what you "should be doing" and what you "wish you were doing".

If I were to give advice on how to live your best life you must first decide between the two inner voices: what should you be doing verses what you want to be doing? Hint: Should sucks. Go with the want if you truly want to live in alignment with the desires of your heart and the existence of your passion. It's that time.
First things first though, you must define what it is you truly want to be doing in your life.
There are always two voices: the one that is in the back of your head (your mother) telling you what she expects from you and the money that should be following. Then there is the other one; the one down deep in your heart that wishes that you were following your dreams. Unfortunately, the voice of the heart is much softer in tone as it whispers your truth to you. The voice in your head seems to scream. Both can lead to success...but do you trust it?
If you are following the path that has too many "should's" in it...you are going the wrong way. Should is judgment and nothing good comes after SHOULD.
As Joseph Campbell so brilliantly said: "Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors where there were only walls."
The world is changing, and so are you...or you would not have found this little tid bit of writing anyway! So, yes, I am talking directly to you and I'm offering what you know you want to hear...go after the dream.
Ask yourself: what's the worst that can happen? And go from there.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

I am so tired of the way that women get reprimanded for not looking like a pixie celebrity. It isn't real!

As we know, I'm not afraid to tell the stories of my life. One thing though that I don't really mention is my ongoing battle with what I look like, verses what other people in my life think I should look like.

When I was in college I was a cheerleader at an SEC school. I cheered there my freshman year and then when try outs came for the next year we had a new coach who thought I was just too fat (at 115 pounds). He gave me zero's all the way down for being fat and I left that school and tried out somewhere else. I made the top score that year of the entire try outs at that college. As the years went, I heard about my weight and when I hit the big 121 pounds, I got benched and nearly kicked off-losing my scholarship for my horrendous weight. Looking back at photo's I looked freaking amazing. But back then, I would look at myself in disgust.
College came and went and I became an aerobics instructor and then director. I worked with an amazing person who never once talked about my body, my weight or anything else that would make me feel bad. I studied martial arts, and taught classes exercising a good 15-30 hours a week and keeping my weight around 118-123 depending on if I was taking my diet pills or not.

Then life changed for me and I began dealing with pretty severe anxiety. I got off the diet pills and stopped teaching classes. my weight didn't really change for several more years.

I am now in my mid thirties and I weigh quite a bit more than those old numbers, and people have certainly let me know it. I had a friend say to me "Emily, you would be so hot if you just lost 20 pounds." I never understood why people would ever feel so comfortable talking to me about my weight when I would never say anything of the sort to anyone EVER!

Now 5 years after the publishing of my original Stretch Therapy book where I stressed about what I looked like in the book, it gets picked up by a publisher and it is set to go national in January 2012. The catch is, I have to re-take all photos from the books so that all shots have the same background(there were two books now they are being combined and added to).

Well, I certainly don't look like a cheerleader, aerobics instructor or even the girl who would be so hot if I dropped 20 and I find myself having to put friends in the book instead of me because I just don't look the part and wouldn't feel comfortable starring in this book. I am in the book so don't get me wrong-I have not gained so much weight that I am looking at a health issue or things of that nature. I am in the book still, but as a supporting role only.

It is so sad to me that somehow all of us at some time or another feels this way. The truth is, I don't have a pixie body and yes, I do miss having a body that was under 120 pounds. But even then, I was not confident. Now, I love myself more than I ever have in my entire life, and I am so proud of the woman that I am that I don't want my existence to be about my body and how much I weigh. Who the hell are these people anyway to ever speak to me like that? I would not ever do something like that to anybody!

I am reminded of all of these old wounds after watching a reality show-Kloe and Lamar where kloe Kardashian takes flack from not only her mother for gaining weight and ruining the Quick Trim logo, but from all sides. She's battling the confidence of loving who she is and where she is in her life-and quite frankly looking fabulous anyway-verses what other people have decided she needs to look like and weigh. It's bull shit and I'm sick of it. I can totally relate and in watching tonight, it brought up all these old memories and anger because I've worked so hard to become something and someone that I can be proud of. It amazes me that words out of someone else's mouth that are completely superficial in nature anyway could have such an effect on all of us women!

No matter what woman you are, or how great you look...there is still someone out there telling you that it's not enough! And what's worse? We listen to it!
Truly, it is that time when we all pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and realize that 5 more years from now and we will wish to God we looked like we do right now! It is the story of life! I wish in college when all those people were harping on my weight I would have realized that I was smokin' hot! My body was off the hook! We are fighting about weight in a 115-121 pound person??? Are you freaking kidding me?
I would kill to be 115-121 pounds now! But, I am not willing to do the crap that would be necessary for me to get it! I still exercise and I eat decent. I am not a vegan and I am not a triathlete. I am a normal, somewhat healthy, extremely happy woman and I'm disgusted that we have all fallen prey to this for so long.
I pray for all of us woman out there that we realize that right now, in this exact moment we are absolutely beautiful and perfect just as we are.

And to the rest of you...don't be the person that anyone looks back and remembers for saying something so hurtful. Be the person that someone looks back on and is reminded of something loving and wonderful that made their day, or even their life better for having said it.

Friday, April 22, 2011

There are always cleaner routes to the same destination. ~Emily Francis original

You have a goal set. You do whatever you can to achieve that goal. But wait...how did you attain what it is that you wanted? Did you fight nasty and burn bridges along the way? Did you practice simple kindness and have faith that still the goal would be reached?

I am reminded of this simple thought by being dragged into a situation that was beyond my control for another persons gain. That person truly believed they were doing what they had to in order to get their desired outcome. I believe they still would have gotten what they wanted, but they could have chosen a much cleaner path to get there. And so it begins. The inward and the outward journey of self. If you are meant to have something or be something, and you put in the effort towards it, chances are, you will attain. But before you go on a path that leaves havoc in its wake...check yourself, and choose again.
Be wise on your journey and always think larger picture than just the goal at the end of the tunnel. There is much to be gained and lost and it all comes down to you.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Another great book I recommed!

Be Your Own Shaman...by Deborah King

The book Be Your Own Shaman by Deborah King is AMAZING. I have studied shamanism and read so many books about this for years. Her book blew me away. I find myself constantly reverting to it in my daily life. The way that she explains things, and how to do certain work yourself is stellar. I was completely impressed by this book and keep it close to me in the house.

If ever you have wondered how to undo some certain energy shifts that haven't been in your best interest, this is a book for you. It made me so aware of some things that I otherwise would have missed in my life and allowed to keep happening. After following her advice, and doing the meditations and energy clearings that she explained, I literally woke up feeling like a new, lighter person energetically.
Thank you, Deborah for sharing such wisdom. No wonder Hay House found you!

Blessings,

Emily A. Francis, PhD
Author-From Fear To Faith

* Please note: Hay House gives me these books for free to review. It is not a paid position of Hay House

Monday, February 14, 2011

If you want to learn about Angels this book is for you!

Doreen Virtue

The Angel Therapy Handbook:

Writing my blog: Inspirational Daze has allowed me an amazing opportunity to review one of my all time favorite authors from my number one favorite Publishing House! Hay House sent me a copy (for free) of Doreen Virtue's book: The Angel Therapy Handbook.

I have been a long time fan of Doreen Virtue. I mention her in all of my own books that I've written because I love her so much. I have even been to a workshop with her and saw her speak. She is literally my publishing hero. Naturally, I jumped at the chance to read and review her latest book.

In all honesty, I do have to say that even though I love her, I have not been buying her books so much in the past year or so because she has written so many books on the same subjects and I felt like I had heard all she had to say. As I think happens with many amazing authors, they get on a roll and then their flair fizzles out a bit in stretching into too many titles covering so much of the same things. So even though I was excited to have any opportunity to have anything to do with both Hay House and Doreen Virtue's work, I have been less inclined to buy her last several books at the stores.

But, to my true and lovely surprise this book is what I've waited for from her. I love it when an author shares from their own background and truly offers what got them to this place. And, even more than this, when they offer to you as much as they possibly can for you to be able to do the things yourself. Every once in a while you will encounter a speaker or an author who has done so well that they have nothing to lose in helping others get to their own top. Not to say people don't like to help and to share-but always with some left for themselves so that they are always ahead and always have something left to teach. I understand both sides of that. But what I find the most sacred offering in the world is when people teach from the deepest level with no attachments. In the book: The Angel Therapy Handbook, Doreen does just that! She has managed to get me all excited to get back on her train again! Thank you Doreen, I have missed you and I love you!

I have wanted to take her Angel Therapy workshops for years, but money never was plentiful enough to get me there. For her to finally open up and offer this information through this book absolutely tickles me! I am thrilled with this book. It gives step by step instructions and information about connecting with your Angels AND it comes from HER! It is her personal information and stories, which I value so much more. This book is in my opinion, getting back to her roots. It is more like the original Angel Therapy and her original Hay House books that I loved so much. I find myself having difficulty putting this book down-and it's been a long time since any book, not just hers, put me in that place. Not only this, but she offers ways to become a writer yourself, to enter the healing world yourself and so much more. The way that this book reads is so heartfelt and pure. More so than most any other book I've read in a very long time by anyone. It is a breath of fresh air to see this from her. I don't know what she went through to get into this space, but whatever it is-it is noticeable and greatly appreciated.

If you are interested at all in learning how to connect to your Angels and guides, this book is for you. I strongly recommend this book to absolutely anyone and everyone who is looking for some peace and direction.

Way to go Doreen!

Sincerely,

Emily A. Smith, PhD
Author of: From Fear To Faith published by Balboa Press (a division of hay house and not connected with this blog or review.)

* Please note: Hay House gives me these books for free to review. It is not a paid position of Hay House

Sunday, February 6, 2011

What would I put into a basket to give to a friend who was looking at a new path to her own self?

I was asked by someone today if they could get "an Emily Smith starter kit." This made me pause and reflect. What would I give to someone who is starting over in their life and looking for new things to get them started? I realized I would know exactly what little basket to make up and give as their new avenue. My Stretch Book, Anthony DeMello's Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality book, some crystals, some incense, a book of daily prayers or inspiration, my Morning and Evening CD and encourage them to offer into this basket their own self love.

Sometimes we need to do rituals to let the past go. Writing down on paper what you are willing to release, what has caused you such pain that you find yourself having to start over. Then burn that paper and bury the ashes

A great crystal starter kit: Rose Quartz for unconditional Love, Clear Quartz for personal growth and power, flourite for healing self, bloodstone for purification and amethyst for love of self, and personal healing. You can hold these stones, you can put them in a glass (notice I said glass. No plastic, glass or wood only) to enhance the mineral quality of your water, you can lay them on your body during prayer/quiet time.

A stretching book simply offers your body easy ways to expand your own life by starting with your muscles. Let them rejoice in being stretched, strengthened and lengthened. You have no idea how much your muscles hold the emotional pain you have been through. You must address your muscles and give them the release also.

A wonderful, insightful book such as Anthony DeMello is always wonderful. He is a Catholic Jesuit monk, Indian man who grew up doing yoga, psychotherapist all rolled into one person. The advice he offers is absolutely stellar and won't generally offend anybody. Just enhance the daily thoughts a bit.

Another book I would offer is the Four Agreements. It's four easy things to create heaven on earth. Who doesn't need that?

The incense serves a specific purpose. Find a smell (like Nag Champa) that is clean and you can handle/enjoy being around. For as long as the incense burns, that is how long you sit in prayer.

When we find ourselves lost and having to start new in our lives, this is the most available time we have to learn new things and to expand our minds and hearts. It's one of the few times in our lives that we break old patterns and open up to a new level of existence. This is the time to be cherished, and honored and we need to acknowledge this within ourselves. I will help you.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Approach any hurtful situation the same way you do your food...chew it up, let it digest properly and then let it release from your being.

If you swallowed your food without chewing it up, you will have horrible indigestion! It's the same thing with feelings. They must be faced, eaten, chewed up properly, allowed the time to go through the digestive tract and then finally released from the body.

Too many times when we are faced with a painful situation we are ostracized for not 'getting over it' fast enough. You know what you would like to see the ultimate out come in that situation be, but that does not mean that it won't take time and proper healing to get there. Give yourself some slack, gather support and honor your feelings.

It's great to set a goal-but don't let it be about the time it takes to overcome something. This does not give you permission to wallow in it, but honor the fact that everyone processes differently and at different speeds. You have to take yourself all the way through it if you're ever going to get to the place where it doesn't effect you anymore.

The mantra for the day is:
I am working on it. I may get there tomorrow. I'm not quite there today. But I am working on it.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

"It's never too late to become what you might have been." ~ George Elliot

If you could create the life of your dreams, what would it look like?

So many times we get stuck as adults in a rut. Not necessarily because we have to be in that rut, but because we haven't widened our scope of life yet. We do not dare to dream-with a destination in mind. It's easy to watch a movie and want to take on that role, leave the world behind and bar tend in a hut somewhere in the middle of exotic nowhere. But, what do you really wish you were doing in your life? What are your ultimate goals and dreams? And, once you have figured that out, the next question is "why aren't you doing that, or are you doing that currently?"

I understand completely that if you are supporting a family, it would be next to impossible to switch gears and go after your dreams. However, I have found that those that step onto a new path-be it continued education, a night class on something they love and have always wanted to learn, a music class opens them up and strengthens their unions because they are happier people! When you open yourself up to a creative outlet, or a new path altogether, everything changes.

What I'm trying to get you to look at is:
1) What do you want to be doing in your life? Are you doing anything to make that a reality?
2) Are you truly happy and fulfilled in your daily life, and if not, are you doing anything to change that?
3) What are your true passions and are you doing anything to incorporate them into your daily life?
4) Do you take time out of your daily life to focus on YOU?
5) Understanding that when you're happy and fulfilled, everyone around you responds with that same empowered and creative reflection.

Whatever it is that you wish you were doing, please do something to bring that into your life. If you enjoy photography, grab your kids and do some amazing photo shoots. You don't have to be a professional photographer to realize your dreams! If you wish you would have looked into a comedy lifestyle, go to an amateur night at the stand up joint in your area. You don't have to quit your job to change your life! Just add to your life, bring into your life your passions. Create a healthy outlet. You want to become a chef but don't want to quit your day job? Take a cooking class at the local college at night or weekends. Or, many times the cooking schools offer weekend workshops. Have you even looked into the options?

Do not look back on your life and know that you sold out. Do not look back and wish you would have done it differently. Set a goal and believe in the outcome of it.
You CAN do it!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Year..New Insights

It's not the big resolutions that we really follow. Those get lost in the shuffle. It's the goals that we set for ourselves that are attainable and truly in line with the direction we are already heading in that get accomplished. This is not to say we can't change the path and head into a new found opening in the road, because we can. We just seldom do.
My suggestion is, start slow and be decisive about what you want, what you want to change, and where you are heading. The other half of this is to be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to stray a little bit from that goal, and then get back on track when you can. Guilt never breeds temperance. Guilt perpetuates more guilt. Support, and understanding help lead the way.
Enjoy this new year-as it is meant to be enjoyed! It is a new year, and you are a part of making it happen! Each day is a new chance-and it is up to us to give ourselves that opportunity to truly live it. No one can do it for you, and no one should.
So, whatever it is you want to see come to light in this new year...go make it happen. But remember, nothing worth keeping happens without the effort and the intention. So get clear, be still with it and then when you are ready-go get it.
Blessings and hopes for an amazing, healthy, vibrant new year to you-
Emily