Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 comes to an end.

So here it is...the last day of 2010.

This year has been for me a year of incredible gains, and some really tough losses. More intense of a year for me than any other year I can remember. In this year the losses are:

My dog-and the love of my life (and for me was my baby) for many, many years passed away.
My grandmother-who lived an amazing 95 years-and I who I loved dearly also passed away not long after my punkin did.
A very close family member dealt with cancer this year-and I was in that chemo suite right along side every single week.
I have lost people along the way this year. Friends. When big changes come around, its effects are more than the stone rippling out into the pond.

The gains however are huge for me:

That family member who went through chemo is cancer free.
I met the love of my life, moved into a house together, got engaged and are soon to be married.
I got a publishing house to pick up two of my books and we start over combining them and use this year to get ready to launch it out into the book store world.
I will be getting two beautiful little step children in this new marriage.
I have found things within myself that I thought were never there, or would never come back.
The love that I have been blessed with has felt like the lotus flower has bloomed within me. And truly, it has been amazing.

The lessons I've learned this year carry me well into the next many. Friendships have changed dramatically since I found a man that fulfills so many aspects. Friends I thought I wouldn't ever lose have gone away, dynamics have changed, new people have entered-and some I would not choose ever to enter my life, have no choice but to stay.
Accepting that there are many things out of my control has been difficult-as it always is.
Focusing on what I can is always tough. Resistance always seems to attach itself to acceptance at a costly price.

This year seems to be many prayers of thanks, and many prayers of please help me get through this. But the common factor for me? Prayer. Whatever comes of this new year, God/Great Spirit is still and always will be my driver. I am never alone. I never was.
We have the choices once the situation has been presented. We cannot chose the situations, but we can choose our path around and through it. Taking the path of least resistance is not always the way. But it does help to navigate it out that way. I can feel the energy swirling around me- a bit chaotic right now-in its attempts to line me up for something wonderful coming soon into my life. I can feel it. This is going to be a big year. It's going to be amazing and I will be an active participant in seeing it out that way.
2011..I am in deed ready for you.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

All you need is love!

I love that song "All you need is love!" In lots of ways this is true. Love for self creates love for others. Love for God creates love for your fellow brothers and sisters of the world. We can be so selfish in our daily lives, thinking only of ourselves and our own family. Start seeing your family as the entire world. We are all children from the same light. Get out of your own small space in your mind and go big with your awareness.
See what happens then...

Love to all of you each day-

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

There's no place I'd rather be

I was asked the question today: "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you go?" and amazingly for the first time probably ever in my life my answer is: exactly where I am!

There is no place in the world outside of the house I live in, with the man I live with that I would rather be. What an exciting thing to realize! The only thing that I would add in if I could is to bring my dog back down from Heaven and have him still here with me. That would make this house even more amazing than it already is. But since I can't do that, and I have to be grateful for the many wonderful years that I did get to have with my Punkin, I am left to focus on the now. And, thankfully my 'now' is a dream come true.

The life I am living right now, today, is the life that exceeds what I ever saw coming. For this, I am truly grateful. Maybe it was all the wrong turns that I had taken so many times before in my life that makes me appreciate where I've ended up. Those bumps and bruises (if that's what we want to call was more like torture and horrible decisions) brought me exactly here. And, exactly here is very aware of just how lucky and blessed 'here' actually is.

So, if there is somewhere else that you wish you were...what's stopping you from going there? And it may not be a may be a vocation. If you're doing something that doesn't bring you joy, are you doing anything to change that?

Just a thought...I hope it makes you realize that you have far more than you may be aware of.

Love and light,


Monday, October 4, 2010

When we are no longer on the same path as our friends

So much has changed over the course of a year for me. So many things that have come into my life that are massive blessings. So many things lost this year also. But, there is one thing that I have seen this year that has been difficult and that is the way that my relationships have changed. In my years of anxiety, and also on a dating sabaticle, I held on to my male friends for dear life. They came to view me as the "poor Emily, who needs me" girl, and I liked it that way.

When I fell in love with my now fiance, those people went away. Some before I was ready for them to, and some because I needed them to. I gave away too much power in my weaker days, and let a lot of people have a say so in my decision making skills. Once I got out of my anxiety nightmare, I began to really see things from a much cleaner perspective and stopped giving so much power away.

And then later falling deeply in love, it compounded it even more. Those friends of mine just didn't hold the space that they used to as the men in my life, and that has been difficult for both sides. *Note: this does not mean I turned my power over to the new man in my life, because I did not and don't need to. I grew into myself before he came along. Having this deep love with someone who I respect and admire does of course change things. It would have to. He does bring strength and faith to my life in ways that I didn't have in the capacity that I did before on my own. I am not discounting this. My decisions are made with him, as his are made with me. This is very different however then handing it over. It doesn't work that way anymore for me with anybody.

What I have found is that in my delights (getting a book picked up by a national publishing house, and getting engaged and moving into our new home) has left some people without even the ability to simply say "Congratulations!" I'm telling you jealousy is ugly on anybody...even in my cats. It's just ugly. It hurts my feelings to know that friends that have watched me for years work so hard, and never give up on my dreams now can't even just acknowledge that I have actually achieved something that they may or may not have ever seen as possible. It also makes me proud to know that I do not live to anybody's expectations but my own, and that I have actually hit goals (my books) that I had unwavering faith in.

My point to this personal story is this: sometimes it really is just time to let them go. It hurts when our relationships change, but they do always change because we always change. We are always growing, and evolving and sometimes it just makes us not mesh anymore with people that we used to mesh with ease before. It's not to be looked at as a terrible thing, just a truth. Sometimes our paths take off in separate directions. Sometimes one or both people may need that down time to tend to their own gardens. It may not be as personal as you'd like to think that it is. Either way, it's hard to watch friends come and go from our lives.

It is equally as difficult to conform to a certain way of being to keep them also. And this isn't just limited to my male friends. I've changed relationship patterns with a lot of people over the past few years because I truly stick up for myself and try to avoid the passive-aggressive games that we tend to play when we are in less than a good space. I hold people accountable for behaviors and words, myself included. I am not the push over girl that I used to be because of my fears of confrontation that so often accompanies anxiety. It is both liberating, and equally difficult to change those patterns within yourself. It can result in losing friendships. It cannot necessarily be helped.

So, as I grow and continue on my own path, and pursue my own dreams I welcome those that step in along the way, and miss those that no longer fit. But one thing is clear: I will honor myself, my partner, my dreams first. The rest will take care of itself. You, or I are not bad people for finally putting ourselves first and honoring who we are. Stick up for yourself, you earned it! If the others don't like it, bless them and be on your way. Keep growing, keep going on your own path. You'll line up again if you're meant to.

Not sure if this helps any of you, but I feel better :-) So, Thank You.


Friday, October 1, 2010

Quote of the day: "Sometimes life is bigger than you!" -Michelle Brandenburg

Sometimes there are things that are just way too big for you to handle. So don't. Give them over to God and go from there. Sometimes we think that we are or know what's best for other people, and this also is not true. Know when you are not helping, know when you are not enough...and even more, know when things are too much. Then hand them over. It's important that we always know that we can't do and be everything. And that we don't have to be.

Recognize when the efforts you are putting in are not enough and change the pattern. It's not a bad thing to notice when it's over your head. It's arrogant to think it never is.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Love means always being able to say you're sorry. -ME

I've heard the old saying "love means never having to say you're sorry" and I strongly disagree. Love means being able to say you are sorry and allows you to own up to whatever behavior it was that warrants an apology. It's not easy to admit fault. It's never easy to admit your motives behind doing something that would be hurtful. However, that being said: when you do act out in a way that upon inspection was hurtful, or resentful or childish even and you realize it and take responsibility for it...well, that makes the other person truly know that you did see it, you are regretful of it and that hopefully you did learn something from it. It's never fun to eat crow...but with all the toxic things out in the world that we put in our mouths now days...a little crow every now and then might not be such a bad snack!

Monday, August 23, 2010

I am writing this piece because it is time to STOP THE MADNESS!!!

Seriously people, it's time to just stop. Stop holding on to the darkness of threats looming above the horizon. If you stop looking up at them, they will disappear. We have to change our focus if we want to see a change. Everyone has fallen victim to this economy crisis. It's every where we turn, the tv, the news, the newspaper, random conversations in the grocery store. Stop it already! Why is it truly a crisis? Because we are all playing right into it! Stop playing the game! You don't like what you see? Change your focus. Go do something that makes a difference. If you need to downsize your life, then do it! Life never was measured by what car you drive or how big your house is. Many people define these things as success. It is a BYPRODCUCT of success, it is NOT success.

True success is actually making it a point to enjoy how you spend your days. If you are that person who counts down every day until the weekends, you are only living 10% of your life. What a waste. What an absolute waste of time and space. You are not contributing to changing the scenery. A collective consciousness shift can only take place when the majority sees the same picture. Right now, we are seeing a picture painted in doom and gloom. Why? Because we as a collective conscious have decided that “it is what it is”. Stop the madness I tell you. It isn't what it is, it is what it could be and you are wasting it.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Pushing through to make it happen.

Today is cause for great celebration and just may deem 2 quotes!

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
~Henry David Thoreau

Those who say it can't be done should get out of the way of those who are doing it.~ Joel Arthur Barke

It was 2006 when I decided to write my first book. It was my life's story. I had hit a hard place that left me so low that I didn't know any other way out of it, but to write my way. I remember distinctly my mother asking me "what are you doing on the computer for so long all the time?" I answered very straight faced "I'm writing a book." She huffed and gave a quick laugh and said "yeah right." She meant no harm by it, it just sounded off the wall. And off the wall it was...for her. As for me, I wrote and I wrote everything that was happening in my life with the dream that one day it would be heard around the world. The way that I came from the grips of my own hell and up into a spiritual high that I could never come down from. It was in those moments that I realized that we had a short sighted view that the only people who lived extraordinary lives were other people. I decided to jump that fence and go live on the other side.

In those years, I also wrote a book that I knew the most about-Stretching. Basic, easy stretches for anyone to do. What I do best in life is learn the hard stuff, and then figure out a way to make it easy to teach. I'm a simplifier. And for me, it translated into my first self published book Stretch Therapy. All the while still hammering away at my secret book (From Fear to Faith). My Stretch book published, and I followed it up a year later with a sequel. I threw myself a party, tried to get the sales going and ...well, that's it. Nothing really went too far, but I did gain respect and the affirmation that I am a person that actually follows through and makes it happen. That in itself was a marvelous find.

I took it one step further though. I started going to trade shows. Not many, as they are very expensive and I have little to my name in the way of extra income to market myself and my books. So, I saved and I worked and I prayed and I showed up in New York City this year for the biggest book conference there is.

And yesterday it happened...I got a contract from a publishing house to collaborate and re-do my Stretch Therapy books into something much bigger. Now, I have the backing I had always wanted so badly to do it on a big scale. My book will be in Barnes and Nobles and Borders books around the world.

What makes this possible? I NEVER gave up. I never gave in. I always believed that I had something in my books worth taking a risk on. The moral of the story? Do what you love, and believe in it all the way through. As another quote that I've always loved was:
“Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.” ~Ross Perot

I have always talked about the dreamers and the do-ers. And today I celebrate the most amazing feeling in my heart as the call finally came and I got the go ahead. Whatever it is that you want to be doing, DO IT.

I have faith in YOU.



Friday, August 20, 2010

Strength from within

Today's Quote

“If God sends us on strong paths, we are provided strong shoes.”-Corrie TenBoom

Well, after 7 hours at the hospital filled with waiting, and more waiting we achieved the first round of chemotherapy. Me as the supporter, my loved one as the receiver. Somehow, even though it wasn't put into my body, it somehow all felt the same. It wasn't as bad as we anticipated, as nothing ever is as true as our coyote mind would have us believe. It is still going to be a very long haul. But, I am ready. I trust that the Universe has reasons behind everything that goes on in our lives, and I'm as involved in the process as I can be.

It is in the tough times that we find out what we are truly made of. Our strength comes out in amounts we would have at any other time wondered if we ever really had. But strength comes from the mind and from the will and mine are in tact during this time. I've known since I was young and my father died so unexpectedly that we all had the ability to push forward and rise to any occasion simply because we had to and not because we wanted to. It is what we are born with and equipped with. It's little pocket gifts from God that aren't to be opened until we have to and out comes great bursts of strength and understanding.

We may not always understand the 'why's' of what's happening. We may not always understand the 'how's' even. But if you keep your faith, and trust that you can and do have what it takes to make it through, it will bring you to someplace greater than your imagination could take you alone. Trust in the process and know that's all we can do. Negativity will block the progress. I'm not interested in that.

And for all of you out there who are nurses, and health care workers ...I salute you. You are amazing people with hearts of gold. May you always remember why it is that you ever went into that vocation and not let the politics of this country's horribly uneven health care get in your way of making people's lives better. We sure have appreciated those nurses over the last few months. They have been amazing.

Today's challenge: Trust in whatever process is happening in your life today. Know that you don't have to know where it all leads, and that it would surprise you anyway so don't guess. Just go with it, trust in it and be present to it all. May this day be filled with love and wonder.



Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Being present through the goodies and the toughies

Today's Quote:

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

What I can offer today is from my own life experience. I've worked(and of course am still working)to learn how to truly be present to each day of my life. I wasted so many years of my life in fear and anticipation of "what if's". I can't do that anymore. I've learned how to compartmentalize the blessing boxes, and the grief/worry boxes and be in that space during each moment, but not necessarily let them bleed into the other.

For example and very personally: The shifts in my life have been spectacular and cover the gambit of high's and low's. In the past few months I have lost the love of my life (my dog who has been my child, best friend, greatest companion and everything else to me), I lost my grandmother (also extremely close to), someone extremely close to me has been diagnosed with cancer, and I've started a new job. On the other hand I have also been fortunate enough to find the absolute love of my life (in male/human form), moved into a house together and count my blessings every single day that a man that exceeds all of my prayers has come into my life. I got a call from a publishing house interested in publishing my books, I'm healthy and exquisitely happy and optimistic in these areas.

Now, where does this put me? Well, I could fall apart and wallow in it...and believe me, some days I absolutely do! But for the most part, I focus on staying present to each situation as I'm in them. I feel the feelings so that I don't have to chew on them at the other times. I'm not in a happy space feeling like I should be crying the way that I once would have done. I am attempting to be fully present and feel the abundance and joys in these blessings that I do have. And, when I feel sad and want to cry myself to sleep because I miss my baby so much it aches...well that is just what I do.

Everyone is going through something. This is life! It's how we handle the situations that life throws at us that define us and make us who we are. I choose to walk in, face up to them all, feel them and release them as they come. Today I will be hanging out in the chemo suite for the first time. All I can do is help to bring in the sunshine. Not with fake gestures, but just by simply being there in it with my dear one. Not wallowing in it either. I'm there for whatever they may need me to be. The presence in that has yet to be determined (since I'm not actually there yet)...if it was, well...that wouldn't really and truly be being present now would it?

I'll let you know tomorrow just how it went.

In the meantime, face up to your own highs and lows and don't take them with you -best you can. I wish you a lifetime of health, joy, abundance, happiness and even a little bit of heart only makes us realize and embrace the good stuff that much more.



Let your light shine through the darkness

Today's Quote:

People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Each day is a brand new day. We don't know what this day will bring until we live it. Some days will change our path in life in a single second. Someone you love may get sick, or injured. It may even be you this time around. Or, even better someone you know and love may have a miracle happen to them, and it may be you also. We don't know when we awake what the day will hold. And it only takes a second to change your life forever.

What we can do in the meantime, in between those life altering moments, is cultivate our own strength from the inside. God doesn't give any of us more than what we can or were meant to handle. Trust in the process. Do your part in being present to the ups and the downs. The great moments, and the grief.

Hopefully this day will bring a miracle. Trust that miracles are everywhere, and there's no reason that today's miracle shouldn't be yours. Light up from the inside and show the world your light, not your fear. Be present to this day. Let love in from the outside, and let love out from the inside. Shine on my friends.



Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Believe in the outcome of your dreams!

But first, what are you dreams? What do you wish to be doing in your daily life AND what are you doing to make those things come true?

Here is the stumbling block to so many of us out there. We need a pick me up! We need creative forces to come into our lives and change the dynamic in which we live! We need to follow our own dreams and not the ones that other people set up for us. Are you counting down your days? Do you only live for the weekends? If so...WHY? What a mundane existence! And, remember, you can NEVER get that day back. This day is the only day like it-if you let it be. Each day is different whether you take note of it or not. It's not as the Dunkin Donuts commercial implies "Time to make the donuts"...wake up again, time to make the coffee, wake up get the picture. Yes, work days can feel the same in many regards...especially if you don't put anything in your life to strive for outside of that existence. And by the hope for you is that you actually enjoy your day job! That you are grateful that you have a day job. And, if you don't have that day job in this moment, may you find work in plenty!

You are in charge of figuring out what it is that you truly want for yourself. What contribution do you wish to make to this life of yours? What are you doing to get it done? It may not lead to fortune or fame, and that's perfectly fine. Just DO whatever it is that you wish you could be doing. You don't have to run off and quit your job or anything, just take some time out of each day and do something that devotes time to your creative nature. Nurture that part of you that may have been stuffed down into the deep reserves of your psyche.

It's up to you how you live your life. It's up to you to follow your dreams and live each day fully. But you must know that to have any of those dreams come true, you must commit yourself to the outcome of those dreams, and believe in it!

Try it...just for today. See how you feel, and then let me know how it goes!

Love and light,


Monday, August 16, 2010

Thoughts on Kindness

It is not hard to practice kindness. What is difficult is being consistent in it. Kindness is not the same as being nice. Nice isn't necessarily real. It is in the moment. I was being nice. Did you mean it? Kindness on the other hand, that is from an authentic space. It comes from a level of being that has staying power. Kindness is real. It is far stronger in presence than niceness.

The thing that I have observed though so many times is that we meet these wonderful people in person. They try their best to be good people. They wake up on Sunday mornings and go to church. They smile and hug everyone they see. Everyone loves them! And then they get into their car and become a jerk. Someone got in their way, someone cut them off, someone blocks their light. They become these arrogant, vile people honking and yelling. Leaving all niceties away at the church, or the yoga studio, or anyplace else that is not there. It amazes me that more and more often it seems, people when they are incognito become who it is they truly are. When they, or we, do not have to face up to our behavior become something very different not resembling that person you just walked away from. I spoke with a person over the phone the other day who confirmed my lurking suspicions of just how nasty people can be when they wont get caught for it. She said that people on the phone forget that she's a person. For some reason it has become ok in our society to pick and choose who we are kind to, and when.

It appalls me when I see the mothers (and there are so many of these, don't turn away and pretend you haven't seen them or been them at one time or another) in their minivans with their kids in the back-as they are honking and yelling at you for blocking the lane, or the light or for not going fast enough. "We have to get to soccer and you don't matter! Get out of my way!" And yet, they preach to their children to be nice. Say nice things. Be nice to him/her! Have we yet to realize that the way we teach our children is by the way we act, and not so much as by what we say? Get a hold of yourself mommies and realize that the world is not going to set itself on fire if you are late! Show your children who you are, and make it something worth actually showing! Treat the world with kindness, and kindness is what you will see! You want your children to be sensitive, loving, kind people? You have to show them the way. This means all the time. And we all know that no one is perfect. But, there are such easy ways of being your own example. Don't yell and scream at or about other people in the presence of your children-or preferably not at all whether kids are around or not! It's a novel concept, I know. But hey...give it a shot and see how you feel. You can't feel angry or sad for being kind!

Whether you are in your car, over the phone or in person understand that it all still matters. Santa is always watching you, don't you know??? How you behave does increase or decrease one's character whether anyone else sees it or not. challenge for us all today is to practice KINDNESS. Let it be from an authentic space and BE IT. Or, if you really just don't want to practice kindness and don't know from where to even find that space within yourself...own up to it and admit out loud and show it in your actions that you really are just not that nice a person! Whoever you really are it. All day long. Don't pick and choose when you'll be nice, or kind, or an ass. Don't get into your car where no one knows you and treat people on the road like they are the enemy. Don't make phone calls and act short and rude, like your time is so much better than theirs. Understand that we truly are all connected, and related. What we do and how we behave MATTERS. It matters because it is what we have officially put out into the universe as being who we are.

Now, should you be kind to people and not get that same behavior in return, understand that it is not about you. So, do not take that personally. This is a challenge for YOU to behave with kindness. Don't make it about them. They may not be taking this same challenge. They may not have gotten up and read this blog this morning and turned into an A-hole on the road because they didn't have anyone to remind them that it is foul and unacceptable behavior-not to mention totally unnecessary! But you are reminded and that's all that matters. You put out the good stuff. It will come back to you, I promise.

Kindness carries, and boomerangs back to you more of the same. And the same goes for the stinkers out there. Don't be one of those.

Who are you, and who are you trying to be? That is the question.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Welcome to the Inspirational Daze

I find it interesting that the more that I talk about my dealings with Anxiety the more people seem to also have much of the same.

How did we get here? 
How did we get to a place where we have completely lost sight of just how very special TODAY actually is?

Contained here are some tips that I have worked on to simplify my life and my mind...maybe they can help you too.  In this blog, I will write a daily inspirational thought and elaborate on them.  It would be a great service to pass along to friends and family to remind us all what life really is all about...and it's not about the sadness, shame, fear, or anything else that doesn't make you feel wonderful.

Determine what SUCCESS means to YOU.  It may not have anything to do with material things.  What is it that you would be doing RIGHT NOW that would make you feel successful at life if you were doing it?

Is it being healthy? And again, what does that entail to you? 

Is it being positive? Describe it. Is it being available?

Whatever it is that would make you feel not only satisfied with the way you are living your life TODAY...but what is it that you need to get motivated on to feel like you are leading a successful day? Who are you and what do you want to be?

And most importantly to all of these questions....


Don't let anything stop you from becoming your best self. Not nay-sayers, not low self esteemers, not friends, lovers or family. Do NOT let anything, or anyone stop you from moving forward into the person you inspire yourself to be. Stop finding excuses NOT TO live the way that you deserve to live. The only one who truly has power over you is you...

SO...what is stopping you now?

Figure out right now, today, who you are-who you intend to be-and what you are truly willing to do to become that.

And then, let's talk tomorrow.

In love and Service,

Emily A. Smith, PhD