Saturday, May 28, 2011

Always wrestling with the same issues from the outside in

I had a talk the other day about my weight and my image. I've heard this talk so many times in my life. No matter what weight I'm at, there is always a good male friend of mine who let's me know it is just simply not enough. They mean well, and truly believe they are doing me a favor by saying so. It always makes me wonder though how I seem to have always attracted this to me when I could not imagine saying things like that to anyone else.
I heard recently from a very well meaning friend that maybe the work I'm doing won't really show up in full because I don't fit the image people are looking for unless I drop weight. I get what he's saying, and there is some serious truth to that. I have put on some very serious happy weight along with certain medications that I've been on that cause an increase in weight gain. Sometimes, that weight gain is worth it when the meds actually work. I'd take me happy with some extra baggage any day to me being miserable and scared but looking better.
Especially since, even when I was 'looking better' I still had those well meaning male friends telling me I'd be hot if I dropped 20. No matter what my weight has been in my life, someone is always there to make sure I know it is not enough.
It became my mission several years ago to fall in love with myself-for who I am. And, to turn around and share that same view with others. I'm not an obese person, mind you. I could certainly be smaller...but even when I do, I can promise those people will still always show up.
So I begin to think about what it is that I truly want: I want to feel good about myself. I want to exercise more, and eat better. I don't want to EVER measure value through numbers-size, or numbers. The other thing I don't want is those well meaning people to feel that it is ok to let me know that I don't look good to them. What matters is that I get into the space where I look good to me.
So, maybe I won't get very much further than I've already gotten with my books and my platform-but I do know that I didn't write all of those things from the depths of my being to have it all come down to what's on the outside.
I don't work that way. I hope you don't either.
My thought for the day: start looking from the heart. I know plenty of skinny, pretty people who are down right ugly when it gets past the skin.
To be a swan encompasses it all...but most of all from within.
Keep on pushing forward, and follow your dreams...and don't let ANYBODY tell you different.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Blessings are all around us...grab on and hold tight!

I think there are too many times where we get so caught up in the things that don't really matter that we miss the things that do. Blessings and miracles are all around us and we get too busy to even notice them! Wake up and smell the blessings!
If you are breathing, there is always time to make a change. So, what's stopping you?
God gave us Free Will...are you using yours? I had someone say to me the other day that it's the power of God that can make someone get sober. That is very true that God has that power, but not without your consent. You have to be in charge of your own destiny and your own healing. God cannot do it without you, and at some point, you really just have to own it and step into it.
It starts with one day at at time to create the life you love. So, start today on something small and attainable and go from there.
If you are always looking at what you don't have...believe me, there will be more where that came from. And conversely, if you are looking at what you do have...there will be more where that came from too.
...Now choose.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Spice up your sex life by getting in deeper with each other.

To make your sex life go from great to abundantly amazing, you have to go deeper. It goes from sex to love making. Not in the cheezy way that it might be like on tv...I don't use the term love making for anything other than what it is. It's not possible to do with everyone, but if you do have a sacred partner than this information is for you.

My husband and I like to incorporate energy work/prayer into our love making process. It allows us to come closer and go deeper within before we actually move into the physical side of things. It makes for the most intense orgasms either of us have ever seen. We now have the energetic, emotional and physical all playing together to make a most abundant sex life. Do we do this every time? Absolutely not! But when we do, it is certainly enhanced in a most profound way. Set the tone. We have a certain CD (Govinda, Erotic sexual CD EVER) and when it comes on, we know we are going to be taking our time. Mix up the location. It's not just about getting busy on the kitchen counter. Those "I have to have you now moments" don't happen that often on the fly. Set it up and mix it up. Last night we put a blanket out in our back yard and lit candles and made love under the stars. If I were the neighbors I would have most certainly been watching and talking to my partner about wanting some of what they got! Talk in a way that can get your partner aroused further. Figure out if they respond best to touch, to speech, to breath, to movement, to foreplay...whatever it is that makes them hit the highest that for just before intercourse and go with it. Talk dirty, open up the lines of communication. Be honest and sincere. Don't do it just for the hot pleasure of it all. Be completely present to your surroundings and your partner. This isn't just to amp up your sex life, it is to make your sex life go deeper and further. Get into it. Let yourself go completely with your partner. You'll see the difference in your relationship for sure.

Get out of any habits you may have of doing it just for the sake of doing it. And God forbid, if you are someone who says things like "hurry up, and just do this" or any of that crap right from the onset...don't even bother. Make your partner feel special and loved or don't waste either of your time. It's talk like that will lead you straight back to the courtroom except this time to untie the knot. You gotta get with it people and start loving your partner! Mix it up, be present, be in it!

A healthy sex life is very telling of your partnership. Do you keep open communication? No way are you only available to that in the bed room. It's everywhere and the bedroom tells what's happening in the rest of the house. Keep it real and don't be shy. This is the way to perpetuate loving relationships and strong lovemaking. Go deep or go home!