Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Another Book Review

I just finished reading the book Ravenous: a fool lover's journey from obsession to freedom by Dayna Macy.
Now, I want to find her and ask to work with her. She is intense in all the right ways. She goes through a lot of detailed, horrid and vibrant experiences in her journey of food and balance. While reading the slaughter chapter, as she puts herself out into a slaughter house (a humane one, if there is such things) and describes it in such detail that I cried. It was a very hard chapter to get through, and I thought about skipping it, but through her way of writing, I just couldn't bring myself to turn away from it. Her writing style is bold, intense and gets you down deep.
I thought this book gave great detail of different foods and how they are prepared from start to finish. She achieves balance and reaffirms certain beliefs that I had developed for myself.
I do recommend this book to all of us who are seeking our own balance with food, and with life.

* Please note: Hay House gives me these books for free to review. It is not a paid position of Hay House

Since I'm on a roll here...

I thought I'd share this blog post that I did for my TVGuestpert site. We post hot topics daily, and since today's blog was on cheating and why do it, I thought I would put up one of my hot topic posts from a while back!

Attention Celebrity Cheaters...do what you want, sleep with who you want...just don't get married!

In the case of Tiger Woods, we don't care who you are messing around with...if you were single. The issue is: if you're going to need several women to service you, do it! Just don't get married! Charlie Sheen may have something right with his goddesses. He pays them, the expectations are set, he's not cheating on anyone, and I can guarantee you he's getting whatever kind of sexual favors he wants far more than he did from any of his wives! Do what you do, but keep it real. If you're a cheater, just don't marry anyone. Why bother anyway?
You can be famous and have children out of wedlock and no one bats an eye. So, if kids are what you want, but you are a cheater, just get one of this mistresses to have your baby instead and leave the marrying part out of your equation.
If you are a cheater: you are a cheater. If you know this about yourself, what is the purpose behind getting married to one person if you're not able to stay faithful to them? I've heard the statement made: "you're only as faithful as your options." That's not true. There are some people in the world, and I know the number is few, that have the chance many times a day that don't ever take it because they are good and faithful people. You either are a stand up, faithful person or you're not. Own it, and set your life accordingly.
If you put as much dedication into your life, relationship and marriage as you do into what you've done to make you famous, there would be no issue here! We know you have it in you to be dedicated to something...or you wouldn't be a famous athelete or celebrity in the first place. Want to be a role model? Be someone you can be proud of. Whatever way that means to you. And by the way...the whole running screaming sex addiction following your getting caught is over. Too many celebrities use this tactic: David Duchovny, Tiger Woods, Michael Douglas, Bill Clinton, Charlie Sheen, Amy Winehouse, Kayne West

Why do people cheat?

I'm not sure there is one clear cut answer to this question, because I truly think some people just have it in them, and others don't no matter what. But think about the repercussions of trusting in someone who runs around sticking their you-know-what's, in some strangers you-know-who's and then coming home to you and putting it in you! It is so nasty and yet, so many people do that!

I knew people who were married for years and one of the people got sick only to find out it was stage III syphilis from their lousy, cheating spouse. Or my friend worked as a hostess at a super swanky bar and found out that there was a couple having sex in the bathroom, and when the bartender knocked on the door to tell them they had to leave the man behind the door says: "can we walk out separate because my wife's out there?"

Hell, I had a boyfriend who decided to let me know we were done by placing photo's of him and his new woman on one of these social networking sites instead of having the balls and the human decency to give me the courtesy call to say "hey, I'm doing someone else now, thank you buh-bye."

Here are my questions and if you can answer them, then let me have it:

1) What gives someone the right to think that they can cheat?
2) Why do you bother getting married?
3) What is it that creates some people to always do the noble thing and keep your paws off until the relationship has ended (and both parties know it's ended) and other's can't wait that long?
4) You have to know you will get caught, right? So, why bother?
5) Why wouldn't you put in the effort it takes to score somewhere else with someone else into your relationship or marriage?
6) Why don't you leave before you go pokin around in someone else's punkin patch?
There are always cleaner ways to handle yourself and cheating is not one of them. So...what's the deal?

Someone please explain it to me because I seem to be missing something.

And now we take it to the other side:

1) Why would you take them back if you know they can't be trusted?
2) You know that if you do take them back, and they do it again, you are going to hate yourself for putting up with all that bullshit for nothing.
3) How do you deal with that aftermath?

And my final thoughts on cheating: Do whatever you want, do whoever you want...just don't bother getting into a committed relationship if you know you're not the monogamous kind! Own it, live it, and move on.

Oh and by the way...I am not writing this because of my own life...I am blessed with a truly faithful, wonderful man. I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea here :-) I love you, honey! I am thankful that you are the man that you are and not anything like Tiger Woods!

A faithful and highly opinionated woman

Monday, April 25, 2011

Simplify your life by adopting this word: NO

I was asked today what I tell people about how to simplify their life. I realized that the people that I usually have this conversation with are women who are fighting cancer-since they are my primary source right now for public speaking. What I tell them is the value of saying NO. Woman, wives, mothers, daughters all have a very difficult time saying no to people-therefore over extending themselves way too often and complicating what could have been a very simple, lovely day!
The power behind saying NO is so amazing. I teach it to people that over extend themselves. It is a straight cut way to simplify any situation.
Why do you think that babies hold on to that word so dearly? They learn it early and they use it properly! It doesn't mean you can't do extra things for people, but learning how to slow down and say no to too much brings a fabulous gift of health to your life. Healthy mind, healthy body. Don't over do.
On a daily basis, break down the 'to do list' to what is the most important things to get done and stick with those. You are not superwoman or superman and the key to this little statement is: you don't have to be!

The difference between what you "should be doing" and what you "wish you were doing".

If I were to give advice on how to live your best life you must first decide between the two inner voices: what should you be doing verses what you want to be doing? Hint: Should sucks. Go with the want if you truly want to live in alignment with the desires of your heart and the existence of your passion. It's that time.
First things first though, you must define what it is you truly want to be doing in your life.
There are always two voices: the one that is in the back of your head (your mother) telling you what she expects from you and the money that should be following. Then there is the other one; the one down deep in your heart that wishes that you were following your dreams. Unfortunately, the voice of the heart is much softer in tone as it whispers your truth to you. The voice in your head seems to scream. Both can lead to success...but do you trust it?
If you are following the path that has too many "should's" in it...you are going the wrong way. Should is judgment and nothing good comes after SHOULD.
As Joseph Campbell so brilliantly said: "Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors where there were only walls."
The world is changing, and so are you...or you would not have found this little tid bit of writing anyway! So, yes, I am talking directly to you and I'm offering what you know you want to hear...go after the dream.
Ask yourself: what's the worst that can happen? And go from there.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

I am so tired of the way that women get reprimanded for not looking like a pixie celebrity. It isn't real!

As we know, I'm not afraid to tell the stories of my life. One thing though that I don't really mention is my ongoing battle with what I look like, verses what other people in my life think I should look like.

When I was in college I was a cheerleader at an SEC school. I cheered there my freshman year and then when try outs came for the next year we had a new coach who thought I was just too fat (at 115 pounds). He gave me zero's all the way down for being fat and I left that school and tried out somewhere else. I made the top score that year of the entire try outs at that college. As the years went, I heard about my weight and when I hit the big 121 pounds, I got benched and nearly kicked off-losing my scholarship for my horrendous weight. Looking back at photo's I looked freaking amazing. But back then, I would look at myself in disgust.
College came and went and I became an aerobics instructor and then director. I worked with an amazing person who never once talked about my body, my weight or anything else that would make me feel bad. I studied martial arts, and taught classes exercising a good 15-30 hours a week and keeping my weight around 118-123 depending on if I was taking my diet pills or not.

Then life changed for me and I began dealing with pretty severe anxiety. I got off the diet pills and stopped teaching classes. my weight didn't really change for several more years.

I am now in my mid thirties and I weigh quite a bit more than those old numbers, and people have certainly let me know it. I had a friend say to me "Emily, you would be so hot if you just lost 20 pounds." I never understood why people would ever feel so comfortable talking to me about my weight when I would never say anything of the sort to anyone EVER!

Now 5 years after the publishing of my original Stretch Therapy book where I stressed about what I looked like in the book, it gets picked up by a publisher and it is set to go national in January 2012. The catch is, I have to re-take all photos from the books so that all shots have the same background(there were two books now they are being combined and added to).

Well, I certainly don't look like a cheerleader, aerobics instructor or even the girl who would be so hot if I dropped 20 and I find myself having to put friends in the book instead of me because I just don't look the part and wouldn't feel comfortable starring in this book. I am in the book so don't get me wrong-I have not gained so much weight that I am looking at a health issue or things of that nature. I am in the book still, but as a supporting role only.

It is so sad to me that somehow all of us at some time or another feels this way. The truth is, I don't have a pixie body and yes, I do miss having a body that was under 120 pounds. But even then, I was not confident. Now, I love myself more than I ever have in my entire life, and I am so proud of the woman that I am that I don't want my existence to be about my body and how much I weigh. Who the hell are these people anyway to ever speak to me like that? I would not ever do something like that to anybody!

I am reminded of all of these old wounds after watching a reality show-Kloe and Lamar where kloe Kardashian takes flack from not only her mother for gaining weight and ruining the Quick Trim logo, but from all sides. She's battling the confidence of loving who she is and where she is in her life-and quite frankly looking fabulous anyway-verses what other people have decided she needs to look like and weigh. It's bull shit and I'm sick of it. I can totally relate and in watching tonight, it brought up all these old memories and anger because I've worked so hard to become something and someone that I can be proud of. It amazes me that words out of someone else's mouth that are completely superficial in nature anyway could have such an effect on all of us women!

No matter what woman you are, or how great you look...there is still someone out there telling you that it's not enough! And what's worse? We listen to it!
Truly, it is that time when we all pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and realize that 5 more years from now and we will wish to God we looked like we do right now! It is the story of life! I wish in college when all those people were harping on my weight I would have realized that I was smokin' hot! My body was off the hook! We are fighting about weight in a 115-121 pound person??? Are you freaking kidding me?
I would kill to be 115-121 pounds now! But, I am not willing to do the crap that would be necessary for me to get it! I still exercise and I eat decent. I am not a vegan and I am not a triathlete. I am a normal, somewhat healthy, extremely happy woman and I'm disgusted that we have all fallen prey to this for so long.
I pray for all of us woman out there that we realize that right now, in this exact moment we are absolutely beautiful and perfect just as we are.

And to the rest of you...don't be the person that anyone looks back and remembers for saying something so hurtful. Be the person that someone looks back on and is reminded of something loving and wonderful that made their day, or even their life better for having said it.

Friday, April 22, 2011

There are always cleaner routes to the same destination. ~Emily Francis original

You have a goal set. You do whatever you can to achieve that goal. But wait...how did you attain what it is that you wanted? Did you fight nasty and burn bridges along the way? Did you practice simple kindness and have faith that still the goal would be reached?

I am reminded of this simple thought by being dragged into a situation that was beyond my control for another persons gain. That person truly believed they were doing what they had to in order to get their desired outcome. I believe they still would have gotten what they wanted, but they could have chosen a much cleaner path to get there. And so it begins. The inward and the outward journey of self. If you are meant to have something or be something, and you put in the effort towards it, chances are, you will attain. But before you go on a path that leaves havoc in its wake...check yourself, and choose again.
Be wise on your journey and always think larger picture than just the goal at the end of the tunnel. There is much to be gained and lost and it all comes down to you.